Past is Past. We can’t turn back time. What happened already happened and you can’t do anything about it. So better stop crying over a spilled milk.
I once had a relationship with this girl. I think from my past posts, you can dig in and see some about her. I had this fantastic relationship. It was great even we are fairly apart. She’s in Philippines and I’m here at Singapore. We had so much fun every time we talked over the net. We even spent hours talking over the phone. Every time I got the chance to go back to Philippines, I always make sure “of course” that I see her and spent time as much as I can.
And I really do believe that we did, in fact, loved each other.
But the time came, when we had this massive misunderstanding.
She wanted me to prove how much I love her. She tried to test our relationship by infidelity.
And I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to put our relationship into such test.
We broke up, after realizing that we are turning into monsters and hating each other. I screamed at her. She shouted at me. She hurt me by what she did. She has put me into pain. I’ve hurt her by throwing words that I didn’t mean.
I don’t know how, but her Family found out that we were arguing. That I was throwing all these painful words at her. They found out that I was mad at her.
They had no choice but to protect her. And so they did. They sent me messages. They told me to stop. They told me that She doesn’t love me any more. They told me that there is nothing good about my family either.
And so I did stop.
After some time I found out a lot of things happened way way before we broke up. I found out that the new guy in town was introduce by her own sister. I found out that I don’t have her Mom’s approval. I found out that they had issues with me being far. They had issues with what kind of family I have. Her family started blaming me with no reasons. They called me names.
It made me all realize that, “partly” it’s not her fault. Her family has affected her decision to leave me.
I had no choice. I kept mum at them, at first, but I had to fight back. I had to do something about it. I was mad. I was angry at them for saying all those words. I hate them because they had push US further away.
I kept on posting and posting stuff in my social networking sites. I was showing everybody how much I am in great pain. I was literally, retaliating against them. I forgot how much I used to care for them. I was thinking like I was the one being left here for another guy, so everybody should care. They had no right to do such things so let’s all fight back. It was not right, Wasn’t proper. I was wrong.
Then… One day… She started communicating w/ me again. Saying that she want me back and she wants to fix US. Again I didn’t agree. I don’t trust her no more. For me there is nothing. There is no use of going back. I rejected her. She even tried her best to reach out again and talk to my family and friends.
But there’s no use. I hated her. I hated her family for tolerating her wrong doing. It even got worst when I received messages “again” from her sister. Calling me names and including my mom.
The pain I am having is already more than I can handle.
My last words to her was, “Hanggang kailan mo ako sasaktan?” (Until when are you going to hurt me?)
Now, I just want to forget everything. I can’t believe that one great relationship can turn into a disaster.
We used to be so happy. Now… I don’t know… I really don’t know….
But I still do love her.